The best of intentions and the not quite best of outcomes, that’s been my week. Well that, and doing a little bit of intentional discerning of what’s important and what’s not, who matters and who doesn’t and understanding what my limitations are, despite them not being what I want them to be!
Another huge week! I’m really looking forward to that week when someone asks me “what’d you get up to this week”, and I respond “well, fcuk all actually!”
Oh to be boring, or bored.
Fancy having a week where I didn’t have to wipe a tear, or shed a tear, or break up an argument or have an argument. Where my biggest decision is what to watch on TV. I’d just like a vanilla week! I imagine that I probably wouldn’t like it to be that way all the time, but just once in a while would be nice.
Many challenges have come my way recently, where I’ve had to accept that I can’t fix everything or everyone. In some cases, the realisation was liberating! Finally having the sense to be able to say, “not my circus, not my monkey” and to stop owning the problems of others, whether they wanted me to or not (because being a fixer, even if they don’t expect me to own them, I still try to).
In other cases, that same realisation was heartbreaking, and challenging. One of my biggest challenges is to remove my ego from situations. Decide when I should keep by plentiful opinions to myself, and when I should share them. Understanding that sometimes people aren’t seeking my counsel, they just want to talk and have someone listen without trying to solve what’s bothering them. Sometimes they just need a sounding board, and they trust me enough to be it. Sometimes, people won’t understand the solution (even though you know what it is), until it comes to them organically, through their own problem solving process or through living through their own crisis. My growth has come from finally getting that. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!
To everyone who had a rough week last week, I hope this week is better.