I feel like a human pinball machine lately.  Not the machine when it has just one ball in it, but the machine when the player sets off a bonus ball feature and 5 or 6 balls drop into the machine all at once and bounce off the rubber bands and back into play and the player is frantically trying to keep them all in play,  not losing any down the multiple exit allies of the machine.  All so the player can stay in play just a while longer, maybe even get a free ball or if they’re really skillful, a free game!!

My big challenge is to willingly let some of the balls fall through the exit, admitting that I can’t always keep up with being a super pin-baller and resolve to keep just one or maybe two  meaningful balls in play without feeling guilty about not being able to juggle all six at once.  Trouble is, how do I pick which ball is the most important?

What a head-smash couple of weeks I’ve had lately.  I think the biggest challenge is not giving way to feeling sorry for myself, and finding ways to focus on the positive.  I think that the challenge of decision is one of the pin balls too and I think it’s one of the most important ones.  I’m sure that the minute I let go of focusing or staying positive, I’ll find myself on a very steep, slippery slope into the doledrums, an overcrowded, lonely place, that I don’t want to be in!

I’m amazed at how my month long creativity challenge has helped me during this very stressful time.  I mentioned in a previous blog that my knee-jerk reaction was to declare myself too busy, and opt out, but being as determined as I am and not letting that be an option, looking for a way to be creative each day has taken my focus off whatever Shit Soup I’ve been served up to sip for the day and has usually taken me someplace much more positive.

When you create, it requires focus.  That creation doesn’t have to be on canvas or have a finished product that you can hold in your hands, sometimes it’s as simple as being creative in your thought processes to solve a problem.

For me so far, it’s been about creating:

  • good food, which provides me with both a sense of accomplishment and comfort, not forgetting nourishment too.
  • I’ve had some crafts on the go and this week finished another string bag
  • I’ve done some creative stuff (planning and practice) in the garden
  • I’ve designed some kitchen curtains (a designer I am not, but a gave it a red hot go!)
  • I’ve problem solved (till I’m blue in the face ……… enough with the problem solving already!) and
  • I’ve been writing more.

So in the end, the creativity challenge that I regretted accepting has been a real blessing in disguise.

I’ve been posting my blog posts on Facebook too, which I don’t usually do, so please, feel free to scroll on by if they’re of no interest to you when they appear in your news feed, but I know of a few friends who like to follow, but are having problems subscribing to the blog, so FB is there alert.  Just while we’re on Facebook, is anyone else over it just a little bit?…….that’s for another day……I’ve got a dog groomer arriving in 10, and I’m still in my PJ’s.  Now there’s a Gratitude nugget…. I’m grateful for my Dog Groomer, Pieta.  If she didn’t exist, I may have to wash that big lump of dog!

Oh….& here’s my bag & my kitchen curtains in case you’re wondering 🙂

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