Gaaaaaaaaahhhhh! That’s my retching, vomit sound. Just took my photo front on & side on in a full length mirror for my “Before & After” photo expose`. Have been firmly reminded why people shaped like me should never take selfies in active wear. You’re just going to have to rely on my written updates on how good I’m looking as I morph from Hippo to Meerkat (What? Meerkats are sexy!). Trust me baby, you’re gonna want me if we just use my words 🙂
In fact, I’m thinking of forming a vigilante movement to take out anyone who wears active wear in public. It’s horrible. You either look so amazingly good, young, fit & healthy in it that it makes me what to trip you over for making me hate how I look, or you look like I look in it, in which case, what the fuck were you thinking leaving the house looking like that? Really, girl look at yourself. No one needs to see your saggy bits! God invented flowing fabrics for a reason. So you and I can wear them and feel lovely and pretty and swan about like Her Royal Highness Princess Prettypants. So, turn around, go home, get out of that active wear that shows off your back tits as well as your front tits and put your MooMoo on. We won’t even talk about Camel Toes and active wear. That’s a whole other chapter on it’s own.
Big Grandma day coming up today – off to see my boy Flynn. He’s such a joy to my heart. I’m not such a joy to his heart yet, his Mum & Dad are the only ones who take that honour at the moment, but the smiles are getting bigger and more plentiful, and I’d like to think (and don’t you dare tell me otherwise!) that the smiles of recognition are also happening with more certainty.
Day off from work today too, so I’m pretty pleased about that. Held the last of our “Finals” last night and I’ve got to say, I’ve had so much of the “nice” knocked out of me this season by some of the sweet community athletes that, quite frankly, I couldn’t have given a shit who won or who lost last night. I would have been just as happy for the prima donnas to chase the ball right of the edge of a cliff. OMG…you can always tell when I need a rest.
So, it’s off to KMart before visiting my girl. Will probably spend the equivalent of my Smith’s Chips and CC’s budget, which is no longer available to me in that format, on home workout equipment that will also double as attractive occasional tables. Bring on the getfit/weightloss era x 4 reps!